Apparently "steamy romances" are bad for you

And I just finished one * (if only she'd left out God, it'd have been a much better book. Why oh Why was God needed in the midst of all the shagging? And there was no shapeshifting, which disappointed me)

But I digress. Today's almost Valentine's Day tip comes from Christianity Today's Elizabeth Marvin who tells us all how she "overcame her addiction to steamy romance novels" with the implication that "so can you".

Let me deconstruct. She starts off by:

"...Amid the usual traumas of adolescence, I knew I could turn to my mom, but my heart cried out for my dad, who always seemed uncomfortable in my presence." (TMI. Far far TMI and perhaps Dad knew she was going to turn out to be a bit of a nutter?)

Then...she was nearly taken over by teh evil romances...

"Romance novels fall into three categories, based on sexual content. The most innocent romances are sweet, stressing courtship rather than sex. Following those are spicy/sensual and erotica. I never ventured into the latter category, but sampled enough of the second to know which authors wrote the kinds of love stories I enjoyed." ( and, for anyone who takes this bit seriously, I believe I have a bridge that I would like you to buy)

They almost took her over to the dark side...

"Looking to soothe my conscience [that God would not approve of all this reading of sex], I found a statistic in a women's magazine claiming wives who read romance novels engaged in 40 percent more sex than women who didn't read romances. When I mentioned this fact to my husband, he grinned and said, "Why do you think I've never complained?" But then I read a newspaper article about a local romance writers' convention. An editor casually described the genre's most sexually explicit fare as soft-core pornography. I was horrified. That remark put an entirely new spin on my romance addiction—and explained why these books were so difficult to put down." ( Of course! They were the evil PORN!! Temptations from the Devil!!! )

Then the father returns. The biological one, of course. She's still waiting for the other one to make himself heard.

"After serious time on my knees, I knew God wanted me to deal with the spiritual roadblocks in my life: my romance reading and my distant relationship with my father. Even then I didn't realize the two were related." (on her knees--egads! )

It gets weirder after that. Read the rest for yourself here. Apparently, romance novel-reading was a substitute for her not having her father's love and, once she forgave her father for not giving her enough time and attention, she could rid herself of her "addiction".

It's nutters like these who give readers and Christians a bad name. Gah.

h/t Dear Author

* I also read this over the weekend, while I was laid up in bed in between more bouts of throwing up. I'll blog about that tomorrow I reckon since it's perfect for Valentine's Day book blogging. Really.