Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Poll, supernatural creature edition.

Bum and I have an ongoing...I don't know...debate? Amicable difference of opinion? Blistering war of hateful fury?

Bum likes vampires. I know. And I still like her.

Where I am a werewolf/shifter fan. Because I am obviously much more sensible.

So I'm curious. Do other people have this sharp divide which clearly delineates what kind of person you are. Corpse-mongering necrophiliac or bestiality-tolerant zoophiliac?

Huh (part deux).

When did this blog turn into a Colin Firth's penis-centric blog?

Not that I have any problem with that.


I hate Facebook.

I hate Facebook because it lulls me into thinking that I'm actually keeping in contact with friends.

I hate Facebook because I am, in actuality, not keeping in touch with friends, but merely reading one line "updates."

I hate Facebook because rather than showing up with a cupcake, or hug, or hatching egg, I push some buttons and voila!, no actual effort needed.

I hate Facebook because my 50+ year old supervisor is on Facebook and I think he may be the type to search me.

I hate Facebook because there are patients on Facebook (who I have searched) and I can post limited amounts of information.

I hate Facebook because, really, I wouldn't actually put anything very salacious up.

I hate Facebook because this reminds me that I don't have anything very salacious to put up.

I hate Facebook because I am addicted to Facebook.

And what the fuck is with the new IM-feature?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Friday, April 25, 2008

Now for a non-Colin Firth's penis post.

Am in love with Engineer #1. Damn my cat allergies.

List of things on my desk at work. Right now.

Diary of a patient.
Caddy of office crap.
Business cards (that I have to hand print my name and number on).
Travel mug of stale, overly sweetened coffee.
Paper cup of overly sweetened Crystal Light (Pomegranate Cherry with B-vitamins. Am obviously a health nut).
Cell phone (with Internet access, so I can look at sites my office computer blocks. Am obviously a subversive revolutionary).
Ceramic pen container with an Asian character on it, that was made in Denmark that I think just toes the line of being racist, but it's over thirty years old and my parents bought it, so I don't care very much.
Hunk of hematite. To "ground" me. Whatever the fuck that means.
Phone (that seems vaguely dirty).
To-Do lists miles and miles long.

I'm pretty sure this makes me the most boring-est person ever. But that's okay. Because Bum has managed to bring up Colin Firth's penis, which makes me think of the story that Mr. Firth told of when he was making Pride and Prejudice. He was told, allegedly, to pretend he had an enormous erection whenever he looked at Elizabeth.

Worked for me.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I fold

Just watching (and totally crushing on) Colin Firth on the Daily Show (I'll put up a clip later tomorrow). He's got a great gray jacket on, rather tight jeans and an absolutely lovely laugh.

Jon Stewart's just asked him "what happens if you Google Colin Firth's penis?"

and CF goes "It's huge anywhere" (to the sound of loud cheers).

ETA: The clip is now available. Enjoy

Monday, April 14, 2008


It's hard to argue with a classic.

i see your gerard butler and raise you one, fanny

You're coming home with me? (oh yes, any time, any where )

Friday, April 11, 2008



I did a Google Image search for "pig tails." My original intent was to write about how my favorite way to wear my hair is in this style (keeps the difficult bangs back the best, suits my face shape the best):

But am sadly stymied as 1) is exceedingly unprofessional and 2) being Asian with a young-ish face seems to make the pervs come a'runnin' when I'm so coiffed.

But didn't realize a search would yield naked picture after naked picture.

There are a lot of naked women out there.

In pigtails.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


The presentation thingie went well. Or at least people I work with are telling me it went well to make me feel better and won't actually sack up and say "You made no sense, you were rambling and incoherent and the pathetic bits of humor were really quite pathetic bits of humor."


No paranoia or performance anxiety or anything. Not. At. All.

In other news, I find myself, for various reasons, thinking about people from the past. Last night a friend from high school contacted me after years and years and years and it was...kind of weird. Which got me thinking about the ridiculously intense friendships I seem to fall into. Or at least used to fall into. And not in a borderline-y way. But in that way of girls/women/females/ladies who find that friend who seems to get you and it feels like a friendship that will last forever and all the secrets are splayed out and whenever anything happens, the other person has to hear about rightnow. And she/they is/are that important person you run to first, regardless of whatever boy is around just then.

I don't know. Is it maturity that's helped me form more balanced, healthier friendships that actually last? (Aww...Bum...are you squirming in discomfort now?) In some ways, I like these friendships better. They make more sense. They have nothing to do with my depth of caring about the person. But it's no longer twined all up, kind of destined to flame out.

But still.

Thinking about one friend in particular which flamed out spectacularly, I will never regret the memory I have of us, at sixteen, my brand new license in hand, driving her mother's Trans Am on a dark and rainy night on winding backroads, feeling so very grown up, and really just two little girls, so excited to be actually driving ourselves.

We were just much too cool.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


presentation thing
tomorrow. vibrating with
anxiety. fuck.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008


As one who has sworn up and down I would not wear these rubbery, hideous, produced by a company owned by Republicans faux-footwear, I am all kinds of embarrassed by how much I want these:

Except, you know. Not silver.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

in which i'm disappointed at my lack of "true darkness"

Your Score: Catwoman

You scored 26% True Darkness

Catwoman, aka Selina Kyle, first appeared as an adversary of Batman, later they became lovers and later adversaries and lovers again... She is a whip-carrying burglar with a taste for high stake thefts. She is more an anti-hero than a supervillainess.
How Selina came to be Catwoman: When she was thirteen, Selina discovered that the Hall's administrator was embezzling funds and confronted her. In an attempt to cover up the illegal activities, the administrator put Selina in a bag and dropped her in a river to drown (like a cat). Selina was able to escape and return to the orphanage where she stole documents exposing the administrator's corruption and sent them to the authorities. She also took the opportunity to steal enough money to live on before going back to the streets.

if you had no restaints you would be sneakier. There are some things you would like to do, but you feel you shouldn't. But even if you always did what you wanted to, you would still be okay, and a good person. Maybe do something really crazy sometimes and you'd be quite happy.

Categories you could get:

Phoney Bone 0-11%, the Hulk 12-22%, Catwoman 23-33%, Spawn 34-44%, the Darkness 45-55%, Magneto 56-66%, Darth Vader67-77%, Morgan Le Fey 78-88%, Sephiroth 89-100%.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

in which I learn new things about a presidential candidate

I know Fanny already wrote about his curiously-"hot" young self but I'm not sure this will count in his favour. From

Asked for a reaction to the news that he'd been endorsed by reality-soap bad girl Heidi Montag of "The Hills," John McCain told Swampland: "I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of 'The Hills,' especially since the new season started."


in which i get called "baby"

Worked most of today, designing syllabi for the two classes I'm teaching over the summer and grading papers. Then, went and joined some mates for a few drinks. On my way back home, it started raining so took the bus. This ensued:

(at my stop) me: Thanks very much, have a good night.
bus driver (a bloke): good night baby.
me (in my head): baby???

I'm not sure why "baby" makes me feel uncomfortable while I'm fine with being called "love" in places like Australia and Wales. It's probably some odd cultural hang-up. Also, probably some sort of residue of having watched Dirty Dancing as a young 'un.

Talking about remnants from the past, did yous read that NKOTB are reforming?

Friday, April 04, 2008



Am very disturbed by this. Makes me cross my legs.

Methinks it may be the expression on the man's face. Really? He's all about the Lysol-ed parts? That has got to be some specific fetish.

I bet there's a chat room for it.


I have no Friday Frivolity. Well, I might. But right now am feeling resentful. Because work is bad. Work is real bad. Work is having worked 45 hours by Thursday, a mind-numbing conference on Friday and making...because am a insulting amount of money. Seriously. Insulting.

So hate work right now. Going to go live on a deserted island. With coconuts. That require no cracking. And bananas that don't give you woolly potassium mouth. And sun that does not give you cancer. This is obviously a very good plan. Well thought out.


I am going to go console myself with cookies.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

in which i'm back (after a four-day train/bus/plane trip)

In short:

Sunday 30 March:
0545: walked to bus stop in San Francisco (to catch the bus that would take me to the cross-country train in Emeryville)
0635: bus is late. Wait
0640: bus is still late. Worry.
0655: bus arrives. We make it to Emeryville with 20 mins to spare.
0830: train leaves Emeryville on its two-day trip to Chicago. Expected arrival time Tuesday 1 April, 1530

Sunday afternoon:
Make friends with a German fellow-traveller and fellow PhD-er. Chat with two elderly ladies. Meet a Mum and a baby (baby was called Sequoia).

1740: Realise train is running late. Ask conductor about it. Am told this is normal and "we'll make it up easy"

Sunday evening:
Eat a banana and an apple. German has bread and cheese. Share fruits in return for bread/cheese.

Sunday night: Train is increasingly late. Conductor, once again, tells me not to worry. Worry anyway.

Monday 31 March:
Train is even further delayed. Waiting for freight trains, frozen switches, people being arrested (two sets of people, not just one) and random stops in the middle of cornfields for mysterious reasons take their toll. Train is now 10 hours late.

Monday night:
The last coach is decoupled from the train. Wake up, after a dodgy night's sleep, to find we are suddenly the last coach on the train.

Tuesday 1 April:
Announcement is made we will not make any of our connections in Chicago. Sandwiches and (non alcoholic) drinks are given away for free. Alcoholic drinks are discounted.

Much revelry among people wearing singlets ensues.

I make a frantic phone call to LilSis who books me a flight from Chicago to Washington.

Tuesday night: arrive in Chicago at 2355, almost 8 hours late.
Walk to the subway (two blocks away). Take subway to the airport.

Wednesday 2 April, 0545: catch a flight to Washington. Realise there's a one-hour stop over in Philadelphia.

Philadelphia-DC flight is delayed.

1234: arrive in Washington. Take metro to Woodley Park. Wait for L bus.

1400: catch L bus after a 30-min wait. Arrive home. Sleep.